Podcast Episode 13 - Self Talk

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Welcome to Jen’s New Song

My name is Jennifer Holmes and this is a podcast for those struggling with their mental health.  Whether that means you have bipolar like I do, or you’re struggling with depression, or you’re just going through a difficult season and need some help remembering who God is, this podcast is for you.  

Right now we are working our way through a series on the Psalms and looking at how the psalmists weren’t afraid to tell God exactly how they felt, but at the end of the psalm, they reminded themselves of what they knew to be true about God.  Even if they didn’t feel that way at that moment, they still reminded themselves of the truth.  That’s exactly what I need to do in my life today, and maybe you do too.

My goals for this podcast are for you to feel as though you’re not alone, for us to be able to talk about the hard things, and to be able to honestly cry out to God with our difficult emotions.  But I don’t want us to stay there.  We don’t have to live in defeat.  We can begin to renew our minds through the word of God.

Join me for today’s look at Psalm 71

Do you ever talk to yourself?

I do it all the time.  They say really smart people talk to themselves, so I’m going to go with that theory.  Most of the time, I have a negative narrative going.  I’m very hard on myself and if you could spend an hour in my thoughts you would quickly see that I’m harder on myself than anyone else.  

Maybe you don’t spend all day talking to yourself, or maybe it’s all good things, but all of us talk to ourselves one way or another.

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, my counsellor told me I had to stop trusting my own thoughts.  I was not impressed with that because I like to think of myself as an intelligent person. But as I started examining my thoughts, I realized he was right…my thoughts couldn’t be trusted much of the time.  My thoughts, or the way I talked to myself, were often negative and even wrong things about myself, but also about God.  

I wondered if God loved me, if He heard me, if what He was doing was really best for me.  The way I spoke to myself mattered because it shaped and showed what I believed.

It’s a popular belief these days that how we speak to ourselves is important.  You can find a million posts on Instagram about self talk and how to build ourselves up.  We’re told to love ourselves and speak kindly about ourselves.  To encourage ourselves.  Phrases like, “I am enough” and “I am strong” and more are splashed across our feed and our mugs.  And as with many things, it’s so close.  We do speak to ourselves and it is often too negative.  

But the answer is not in affirming ourselves.  Every single day, I am not enough.  I am not enough for those around me, I don’t have enough energy or talent or character to get everything accomplished I need to.  I am not strong.  On the days I am strong, I end up the weakest because I’m not relying on God’s strength.  The Kingdom of Heaven is always upside down from what we are taught by the world around us.

Self talk is important.  But it’s never about ourselves.

In Psalm 71 David is faced with enemies once again.  The rest of the psalm is fairly generic when it comes to what trial he is facing, but that’s always to our advantage because we are then able to fit our own situation into the psalm and personalize it.  He starts off in verse 1 this way…

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.

Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me.

Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress.

Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked, out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man.

He continues on describing his situation and his faith that God is his only deliverer.  Then in verse 14, he moves into that future tense we love around here.  That future tense that tells us he is reminding himself of the truth he needs to get through his trial.

But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.

My mouth shall shew forth thy righteousness and thy salvation all the day; for I know not the numbers thereof.

I will go in the strength of the Lord God: I will make mention of thy righteousness, even of thine only.

O God, thou hast taught me from my youth: and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works.

I will also praise thee with the psaltery, even thy truth, O my God: unto thee will I sing with the harp, O thou Holy One of Israel.

My lips shall greatly rejoice when I sing unto thee; and my soul, which thou hast redeemed.

My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long:

David reminds himself to talk to himself positively.  Sounds familiar, right?

But here’s the difference, the part that the world is so close on, yet so far away.  

David’s self talk is not about himself.

David’s self talk is about his God.

Or more acturately, David decides to talk to himself about his God.

About his God’s strength, not his own.  About his God’s righteousness, not his own.  About God’s wondrous works, not his own.

In fact, David doesn’t mention himself at all, other than to remind himself how to talk.  He determines to sing and praise and talk of his God.

A.W. Tozer said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

I have to tell you, as I’m sitting in my bed writing this, I’m completely overwhelmed by life.  I’ve been sick, I have a million deadlines coming up, my husband is traveling for work and the weight on my chest is getting heavier with every thing I remember needs to be done this week.  And telling myself that I am enough does nothing for that weight.  Because I can feel the truth down in my soul - I am not.  In fact, I don’t think I’m enough for half of it.  

But my God is.  He knows, He sees, He cares.  He is enough.

So I will speak to myself of Him and that’s how I will get through this week.

But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.

Thank you for joining me today.  I wanted to let you know that I made something new for you!  I have a free mini course available called Elijah and his God.  I’ve learned a lot about God and mental illness by studying Elijah and would love to share that with you!  Head to jensnewsong.com/join to get the free course delivered right to your inbox.  If you would like more daily encouragement, follow me on Instagram or Facebook @jensnewsong.  If you hit the subscribe button on your listening app, you won’t miss an episode of this podcast.  While you’re there, would you consider rating and reviewing?  It really helps other people find the podcast since iTunes loves that sort of thing.  

I wrote this prayer, would you like to join me?

Dear God,

I thank you that I never have to rely on myself, for I would surely fail.  Thank you that your truth and righteousness and strength uphold me.  Help me to remember to speak to myself of all that you are.

Amen