Old Blog Posts for Jen — Jens New Song

I Am Alone

Is there anything worse than being alone when you need help? I can barely stand being alone in the dark, let alone real danger or devastation. And yet, with the right people, the right support, the right presence in your life, you feel like you can do anything, make it through anything.

depression, hope, ScriptureJennifer HolmesApril 17, 2018I am alone, Am I alone, Job 13, Psalm 16, Psalm 23Comment

Unloveable

“Everyone knew who I was. ‘Seven demons’ they would whisper. ‘Mary Magdalene is possessed by seven demons.’ You have no idea how I suffered. The torment, the rejection, the sin. There was no one to help me. No one who really cared.”

Those words keep running through my mind. Mary must have felt as if she was the most unloveable person in her world. How would she ever be loved by another human being, let alone Jesus?

depression, hope, ScriptureJennifer HolmesApril 3, 2018unloveable, does God love me, mary magdalene, John 20Comment

Am I Loved

All my life I’ve struggled with feeling loved. Maybe that’s common to all women and we just don’t talk about it. But there it is. I’ve told myself that I am not loved or I am unloveable or that I have to earn people’s love. The result is often working too hard to earn it.

depression, family, hope, ScriptureJennifer HolmesMarch 27, 2018am I loved, does God love me, finding fulfillmentComment

Ashamed of Grace

Last spring it was time to take family pictures. I had gotten the package as a gift to my mother in law for Christmas and intended to have new ones taken of our family at the same time.

There was only one problem.

These were the first family pictures since the affair and I wasn’t sure what to think.

Scripture, family, hopeJennifer HolmesMarch 20, 2018ashamed of grace, galatians 6:1, I John 4:12 Comments

Forgiving 490 times

7 X 70

If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you know exactly what that means. Peter comes to Jesus and asks him, “How many times am I expected to forgive the same person?” I might have phrased it as, “This person is driving me insane. When can I stop speaking to them?”

family, Scripture, Ministry, hopeJennifer HolmesMarch 6, 20187 times 70, 7 X 70, Luke 17, forgivenessComment

The Secret to Forgiveness

I was acutely aware of everything going on in my body. My hands were shaking. I was breathing hard. My stomach was rebelling. I was hot and cold all at once. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away, I wanted to curl up in a ball.

family, hope, ScriptureJennifer HolmesFebruary 6, 2018forgiveness, secret to forgiveness, Philippians 4:13, II Corinthians 12Comment

This is Exactly When Boldly Was Made For

I see you standing there in the corner.

You’ve failed. Again. You know it and I know it. You gave into your flesh, into temptation. You’re living in despair. You’ve doubted God in the middle of trials. The why doesn’t really matter as much as, we have found ourselves here. Standing in the corner. In the shadows.