Suffering and Glory - Episode 31
Listen to the episode here or scroll down to read a transcript.
Welcome to Jen’s New Song. My name is Jennifer Holmes and I’m so glad you’re here. This is a podcast for the broken, the weary, the hurting, and the suffering. Here we have honest conversations about mental health issues and we look at them all through the lens of God’s word. A lot of people don’t realize the vastness of what the Bible has to say about depression, anxiety, doubt, fear, or relational issues. The Bible is full of comfort and guidance for all of life’s problems, including the struggles of our minds and emotions.
Each episode will have a short encouragement from me as we study God’s Word together, drawing on my own experience with mental illness and my continuing education in counselling, or we will have honest conversations with a guest.
Whether it’s you who struggle, or you want to better understand how to minister to others, thank you for joining me today.
I’m old enough to remember merry-go-rounds on the playground. You could push your friends around, go slowly by yourself, or have a friend push you until the wind made your hair crazy and you felt sick. When it came time to slow it down, you would reach out your hand and let the bars lightly hit it as they flew past, walking the line between actually slowing it down and breaking your hand. They were a source of laughter but also a little scary and not the play of choice for someone like me who got dizzy easily.
The other night I laid in bed, mind racing, and that image came to mind. Only this time it was me trying to slow down my thoughts and it was my sanity that was about to break. I imagined my thoughts as that brightly coloured steel flying by, like they were seeing just how fast they could go. I wondered if this would be the night I actually lost control of my mind. Would I ever be able to stop it or would it take professional intervention this time? After four hours of hard won sleep, I woke up the next morning not quite as worried about my sanity, my manic mind being convinced that everything would be fine.
But just as my mind rebels at night, my body rebels during the day, sending the shooting pain of lack of sleep through my shoulders and into my head. What is normally controlled and manageable is now refusing to submit to exercise and therapy and massage. The rising levels of pain are starting to become intolerable without medication or copious amounts of rest and who has the time for that? The other problem being, even if I had the time, the same culprit that’s causing me to lose sleep and causing me pain is the one that keeps me from wanting to rest. Until finally, I end up taking a nap just to stop the pain for an hour.
I wonder, why the suffering? Why the brokenness? Why does it cover the day and the night?
Yesterday I was catching up in a writing group and they put up a writing prompt for the week. They wanted us to write on on suffering and glory from Romans 8:18 which reads, For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
I sat down to write a short reflection on this, and found I had way too much to say for their 350 word limit - for reference I’m now at 443. So it turned into a podcast episode instead.
Paul says that our current sufferings are not even comparable to the glory that is to come. What does that mean to me when I’m awake for hours and feeling unstable, or when I’m writing this from bed propped up on pillows trying to ignore the pain? How do we look for that glory? How do we catch a glimpse of it to get us through our suffering?
That night when I was watching the merry go round spin in my head, I found comfort in reminding myself who I am in Christ. I am a child of God, I am made in the image of God and I am fully loved by Him. These are all truths that apply no matter how I feel at the time. Even if I’m feeling unstable, even when I can’t sleep, even when I’m suffering. Those things are true. And they will still be true if I ever end up on medication or in a hospital or have an actual psychotic break. None of those truths are dependent on me in the least and I can’t improve them by performance or diminish them by suffering.
It is also true that I am saved, sealed, justified, and that God is leading me towards becoming more Christlike every day. Nothing changes that either.
And so in the dark, in the suffering, I see little bits of glory. I see the sanctification process. I see salvation provided for me. I see the truth of God’s Word. In all these things, a little glory shines through.
Even more glory shines through with one of my favourite phrases - Jesus sits with me. His presence is felt right beside me, no matter how fast the spinning is, how bad the pain is, how unstable the mind is, how low the faith is. And a little bit more of the coming glory is seen and felt.
Yet, the spinning doesn’t stop. The pain continues. We may even find that our faith waivers. The glory doesn’t negate the suffering.
I think often that’s how we take these verses - the glory will be so overwhelming that the suffering won’t matter. Just think about Heaven or Jesus, if you have your eyes on eternity, the suffering here will seem so small that it won’t matter. And now, on top of suffering, we have guilt, thinking that if we’re feeling our suffering, we’re not spiritual enough, not focused on eternity enough. But listen to what Paul says in the next few verses.
For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
23 And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
Paul was not telling us to get over our suffering because eventually it will be eclipsed by the glory. No, he is giving us hope to get through the suffering. Did you catch what he said there? If we could see all the glory, we wouldn’t have to hope for it. It takes faith and hope to wait for that glory. To believe that eventually it will make our suffering seem as though it was just for a moment. And so we believe, we hope, but we don’t yet get to experience all that glory.
It’s the already and not yet of the Christian life. We already see glimpses of the glory to come. We live by faith that it will come. But right now, all of creation still groans together. There is still pain and suffering. There is still the spinning and the unstable, the anxiety and depression. Because we are not yet perfect.
Notice also, Paul says that all of creation is groaning together. We live in this broken and fallen world. It still shows us glimpses of the glory that is to come. When I look out the kitchen window and gasp to see the beauty of our yellow leaves against the deep blue sky, when I see the fog on rainy days, when we have that one gloriously warm fall day. These things all point to a future glory, and yet, in the meantime, we live in this world that is waiting to be made new. We live in bodies that have been redeemed but not yet made whole. We have minds that read the Scriptures but also spin sometimes. We have faith in what is to come, but sometimes falter in the day to day trusting.
And so we suffer. We have pain. But Jesus sent the comforter. Paul calls the comforter the Spirit that helps our infirmities. What a beautiful picture. God knew this life would be hard and suffering would be long, and glory would be hard to see. So He sent us the Spirit to help us, to comfort us, to make intercession for us when we don’t even know what to say. And He gives us the strength to hold on to the truth. The truth that we are suffering now, but the glory to come will not even compare to the suffering. That already we see glimpses but someday we will see the whole. What a glorious day that will be.
Can I just say what a privilege it is that you have invited me into your earbuds or onto your screen with this bit of encouragement today? Each time I see that people have downloaded an episode or I see the views on a video, I end up being the one encouraged to keep going. So thank you sincerely for listening today. Right on the front page of my website, I have a free printable for you called five essential truths - hope for when you need it most. If you’re in any kind of suffering or pain right now, I hope that you will be blessed by remembering those truths - print it out and put it on the fridge or somewhere you will be reminded. Visit jensnewsong.com and you’ll see it right on the front page. And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast or youtube channel! I hope that you’ll look for the glimpses of glory this week, at the very least, you can say that Jesus sits with you no matter where you are right now. And that is actually at the top of the list of glory!