Episode 18 - Weep with those who weep

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Welcome to Jen’s New Song Podcast.  My name is Jennifer Holmes and we’re trying to do things a little differently this week - by we, I mean my son and I.  Anyway, as we’re recording this, we’re also videoing it, so you might be listening to this as a podcast or watching on YouTube or IGTV.  Because, why not?  So if you’re used to listening, but you’d rather watch it on YouTube, that’s an option.  Or if you ran across this on YouTube for the first time, it’s also a podcast if you prefer to listen on the go!  Just trying to give you all the options here.

Now that you know all your options, welcome.  Our last episode was an interview with our youth Pastor, Jesse Archer ( if you haven’t listened to that yet, I encourage you to!  It’s all about one anothering teenagers.)  Since then, it seems as though the world has fallen apart due to the Covid Virus.  I live in Ontario, Canada, and my province has declared a state of emergency, shut down non essential services, school is cancelled, I haven’t been to church in two weeks, basically, life looks much different than it did two weeks ago.

We’ve just started to look at what the Bible says about one anothering and even though one anothering looks drastically different at the moment, the Bible still has so much to say about our current situation.  On a side note, last Sunday’s Facebook live service had our pastor preaching from his regular sermon series on Hebrews.  The message was about how to keep going despite weariness.  It was such a timely and relevant message and it brought tears to my eyes to think of how relevant the Bible is for all times and how it felt like God was saying, I knew this was coming and I got you.

So, for this week one thought has been running through my head in regards to one anothering.  The verse is from Romans 12.  Pauls starts off in verse 10 saying Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love and then continues to list off a whole list of ways we can do that.  We could spend a whole season just in this passage.  But one has kept returning to mind.  Its found in verse 15.  Weep with them that weep.

As I’ve been on my phone (way too much) these past few weeks, I’ve seen approximately one million posts, stories, memes, charts, etc. on how to make the most of this time.  We are encouraging creators to create more.  After all Shakespeare wrote some of his best known works during a plague, or something like that.  We’re encouraging women to start baking bread, people to start a new online business, there’s posts about not wasting your time during the shutdown, how to homeschool better, it goes on and on.  And listen, if you’re that person, good for you.  If you could rub off on me a little, I’d be grateful.

But this season is not just all about productivity and learning new things.

There is a lot of heartache this season.  Let me begin by saying, it’s all worth it.  We must protect the vulnerable and of course we should all come together for the collective good.  What we are doing is good and necessary, but that doesn’t mean its not sad.

This season is carrying a lot of emotions, and many of them hard.  I think of disappointment right now.  My kids are home with me for school right now, and while I don’t find that disappointing, my kids are sad to not see their friends and be at school.  My son, especially.  He’s in his senior year.  He’s looking at a very real possibility of suddenly missing out on the last quarter of his high school experience.  We’re already pretty sure that some of the cool things that happen at the end of the year will be cut this year, if they even get back to school before it’s over.  What happens if he misses the school play - where he got one of the leads - or the class trip that was supposed to cross the border to the States, or even grad or going back to school with his friends at all.  This all constitutes serious disappointment and it’s real.  And justified.

I watched a wedding on Facebook live last night of a dear girl who has been so excited about her wedding and had to cancel it and just have a simple ceremony in her parent’s living room.  It was beautiful and simple and it reminded me of the fact that things don’t have to be big and fancy to be special and meaningful.  But I also shed a tear for her older sister who couldn’t be there.  As an oldest sister myself, my heart broke for her and all the siblings that couldn’t go because she couldn’t have that many people there.  That bride and her family experienced a sadness and disappointment that was justified.

People all around the world are sacrificing, and many of us are happy to do it.  But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make us sad.  And I want to be one voice that says, that’s okay.  When things are sad and disappointing, it’s okay to feel it.  

This podcast episode is about saying to you, I see you.  I see your disappointment and I weep with you.  Weeping is okay.  In fact, it’s good.  The Bible is full of spiritual people who wept.  Maybe you feel like right now, for the good of the world, you need to put on a brave face.  But when we put on a brave face, we’re only putting on a mask, hiding what we truly feel and are from the people we need the most.  So take off that mask, allow yourself to be sad and disappointed.

But this episode is also saying to all of us, let’s weep with those who are weeping right now.  Let’s call our friend who is struggling with anxiety and just let her cry.  Let’s call our friend who is quarantined alone, the grandparent in the nursing home who can’t have visitors.  Check on the college student who had to come home, the high school senior missing out, the kids who are feeling the anxiety of their parents.  Offer a listening ear to the person who has lost their job.  Let’s talk about the hard things.  Let no topic be off limits.  Let people weep.  And don’t just let people weep.  Weep with them.  Show them you see them, that what they feel is real and okay.

But what about encouragement you might ask?  What about Bible verses and telling people what they need to hear?  There might be a time and place for that, but we’re just not talking about that today.  Chances are, your friend probably knows the right verses already.  When we’re disappointed, what we need first is presence.  The presence of others and the presence of God.  And the presence of God is often felt through the presence of others.  The rest can come later if needed, but for today, I want to encourage you to find the friend, the other parts of the body of Christ who are weeping and weep with them.  We need each other.  Not just now, in a time of communal crisis, but always, for there will always be disappointment and heartbreak and suffering.  Let’s one another by weeping.

Thank you for joining me today.  I’m really excited about this series and hope you are too.  If you’d like to hear from me more and get almost daily encouragement, I hope you’ll join me on Instagram or Facebook.  Just search Jens New Song.  You can find transcripts of these episodes on my website if you prefer to read the rest of the season.  My website is jensnewsong.com  I also have a free mini course available on there on the life of Elijah and what it teaches us about our mental health.

If you enjoyed todays episode and you’re excited about this series, would you forward this to a friend?  It might be a great way to build community in your own church!  And if you’re really excited, would you go leave a rating and review in iTunes?  That’s how other people find the podcast.  Or subscribe on YouTube so you don’t miss the next episode.  Thanks everyone.  Go love someone today!