our words

I also could speak as ye do: if your soul were in my soul’s stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you.

But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the moving of my lips should asswage your grief.  Job 16:4-5

I have this thing with my husband where I often ask him why he loves me.  He used to hate it.  Well, hate is a strong word, but it was not his favourite thing.  I used to hate his answers.  That might be slightly too strong, but not too far off.  It seemed like he was always telling me things that were out of my control, and therefore, not “me”.

I wrote a whole chapter in my book on how I realized it was really a control thing for me, that I was really asking, what can I continue to do to make you love me?  And I went on to talk about dwelling on God’s love for us.

But just because you write and have your own website, doesn’t mean you have your whole act together.

So I still ask.  All the time.

The other night I handed him a doozy.  I said, “I think you should tell me 15 reasons why you love me.”  I was mostly joking because I knew he would hate that.

But he did it.  All right in a row.  And they were all sweet and wonderful.  And you know what?

Its like it filled my soul.  I was amazed how much those words meant to me.

Its been a tough couple of weeks.  I started working part time, we had missions conference, I’ve been really sick, you know…life.  And those lovely words filled me back up.

As I’ve been studying Job lately, I’ve been amazed by the amount of chapters that his friends take up.  They berate him, tell him everything is his own fault, tell him to repent of his sins, basically, they decide they can speak for God.

In chapter 16 he gives them some advice.  I can’t decide if he blows up and loses it on his friends, or if this is said in a weary voice with tears. But he basically tells them they’ve been terrible friends and he needs their kind words.  Their strengthening, edifying words.

How we speak to people in their grief, in their sorrow, in their hard times, is so important.  Every time, we are given the opportunity to add to their load or to strengthen them for the task ahead.  Even when the week ahead is as simple as trying to get the laundry done and kids lunches made and music picked out.

Maybe you would join me this week in striving to build others up with my words?


Its amazing to me how many times I can look back and see how one small decision changed the course of my life.

An amazing two weeks has past.  I can look back and see the one small decision that brought about these two weeks.  When I decided to say yes to God and speak to those teens about my depression I had no idea that the next year would bring about all this.  In the past two weeks I have gotten several emails from Pastors telling me that they read my book and thought it was useful.  I’ve had people text me pictures holding it up and saying they’re excited to read it.  And most exciting for me was I’ve been asked to speak at three different events.  I think I’ve been walking around with a perpetual smile on my face:)  Its long been a dream of mine to have more opportunities to speak.  I love everything about it.  I love the hours of prayer and study that go into choosing a topic and making an outline.  I love finding just the right illustrations and phrases.  I love practicing in my head for hours on end.  And I also love the actual speaking.  I don’t so much enjoy the nightmares I usually have the few days before:)  I truly believe that God put this passion in my heart.  So to get some more opportunities to speak has been wonderful.  Its still amazing to me that God would use me in this way, but He’s amazing that way!

In a time like this, its easy to get caught up in the big moments.  The special emails, the events, etc.  But for today, I’ve been dwelling on the small, seemingly insignificant moments that started all of this.  What if I had said no to God that day?  What opportunities, what blessings would I have missed?  What have I missed and don’t even know it from all the times I did tell God no?

Every little decision we make is so important.  In that sense, there are no small, insignificant moments in life.  Every time we tell God yes, every time we are faithful in some task, every time we step out and do something new, every time we serve yet another day in what seem to be small ways, God is taking all of those things and weaving them together into something amazing.  He is knitting together our passions and His purposes and building our lives into a beautiful creation that points others towards Him.  Always towards Him.  And that’s the big, amazing part.  That we get to glorify Him and bring the knowledge of His grace to others.  This thought has helped me today as I homeschooled, did laundry and almost caught up the ironing:)  After all, not every day is big and exciting, but every day is filled with small yeses.  And all the yeses add to up to a life that God can use in so many different ways.


Kindle E Book Is Available!

I got an email from Amazon this morning saying that my book is now live and available for download!!  If you have any sort of device, you can download the Kindle app for free and then you can purchase my book:)  Its been a crazy weekend of figuring out all the technical stuff to get it up there, but Amazon made it as easy as possible.  Plus it was all worth it to see this –

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Anyways, here is the Link for purchase on Amazon.ca, but if you search for A New Song on Amazon.anything its available there too!

My book is here!!

So, last year, I wrote a book and today I got to hold a copy in my hands for the first time!  Its been such a special day.


It all started last January when I got asked to give my testimony at Bible Baptist Church about dealing with my depression.  (You can read that testimony here)  Right after the service, Pastor Stone approached me and told me I should write a book.  I laughed it off, but then he drew me aside and said he was serious and his printing ministry would publish it if I would write it.  The weird thing was that he wasn’t the first one to tell me that.  So I muttered something about thinking about it:)  The more I thought about it, I realized that God was practically dumping this opportunity in my lap!  I figured I better say yes:)  So some time in January, I started writing.  It took me until September, but 21,096 words later, I was done!  Then it was five months of editing, cover designing and printing.  This morning I got the email that the books were ready to pick up.  Pastor Stone said he would send them with my in-laws and I could get them at our family dinner on Sunday.  My response was that I couldn’t possibly wait that long and I would be there in an hour:)  May I also just say, its amazing having children old enough that you can decide to take off for a couple of hours and they can watch themselves and even practice piano while you’re gone:)  Anyways, off Michael and I went to pick them up.  I thought I might throw up or cry the whole 45 minutes there but once I had one in hand, I just couldn’t stop smiling:)

This whole process has been very special for me.  I love words, so it was a great opportunity, but more than that, spending several months of free time in God’s word and seeing Him guide me was amazing.  Even if no one else is blessed by this book, I was!  But my prayer is that God will take my feeble attempt at writing and use it to bless someone’s life.  Of course I have goals and sometimes I dream late at night about where this could lead, but mostly I just hope that people are helped.

Psalm 40:3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

In the next few weeks, it should be available as an e-book on Amazon.  Assuming I can figure out all those instructions:)  For now I have a couple hundred in my mini-van and they will be available at my church and whatever conference I’m at over the year.  Most of the proceeds will go to BPS Canada.  They are an awesome ministry that sends out John and Romans to homes around the country.  Their upcoming project is to do the whole city of Ottawa and the province of New Brunswick.  I’m excited to partner with such an amazing ministry.

Thank you to those of you who supported me in this endeavour, those who encouraged me, read my manuscript, and sent me texts saying they were excited about my opportunity.  Thank you to my Pastor who wanted the very first copy:)  And thank you to my amazing husband to watched me sit at a computer a lot of nights instead of spending time with him.  No one believes in me like he does.

Its been a good day.  A very good day:)