Just over a year ago I really wrestled with God.
I felt that He was asking me to give up some things that were really important to me. First was my own music education – even though I was so close to completing my dream and had worked away at it for so long. The second was teaching music. I had been teaching music in some form for almost 20 years and yet felt that God was calling me to quit and focus on my kids and my health. It was a very difficult decision and one that I wrestled with for a while before I finally surrendered, choosing to believe that God’s way was best, even when it was hard to see.
Then, a few months later, that October, everything changed again. We moved cities, jobs, I no longer homeschooled. But the saddest part for me was I was no longer in ministry. Besides my family and my relationship with God, the only thing I was more passionate about than music was ministry. Now that was gone too. It seemed as though everything was being stripped away.
And it was.
But when God asks us to give something up and we follow in that step of obedience, there is always reward.
Its easy now to look back and see why He asked me to give that all up – logistically, it would have made the move harder and I would’ve felt bad about leaving people in a lurch had I been teaching a bunch of kids. But still, this year I wondered what would happen, how God would replace those parts of my life.
But recently, God has given it all back to me. This fall I will officially become the music teacher at Heritage Christian Academy, my kids school at our church. Its seriously the dream job. Ministry and music combined! Its like the cumulation of everything I worked for. It also gives me the opportunity – and a good excuse – to go back and and study under a teacher again. I honestly couldn’t be more excited. And summers and breaks off too – perfect for a mom. (I tried super hard in this paragraph to not use multiple exclamations marks and/or smiley faces on every sentence.)
My heart has always been for the ministry and music is a love, so to combine the two is amazing. I’m grateful for the opportunity. But more than that, its pretty amazing to see when God gives you a glimpse of why He asked you to make the hard choices. Because we don’t always get to see that! Sometimes we just have to trust that He is good and have faith that it will be the best decision. But once in a while He allows us these glimpses and we can see the direct result of our surrender. And it is so faith building.
Is there something that God is asking you to do today? Maybe its something that is hard to give up, or scary to start. Either way, we can always trust our God. It will always be His best in the end.
Also, I’m super excited. Just so you know.