Yesterday I dropped the kids off at basketball camp, walked back in the door, saw the work, and my only thought was, run.
Some days I call it depression, some days I just say, I don’t want to do today, and some days I want to run. I stood there and every fibre of my being, every desire of my heart told me to run away. I know there is no perfect place but I still long to go looking for it. I imagine things would be better if I was by myself, or if I was on a beach, or if I could just go somewhere with no work and netflix for a day. I think the official term is escapism, but I was fixated on one word.
Things have been a little rough lately. There have been some serious relationship problems. Some deep thoughts and questions I’ve been having. Some planning for the future. Renovating. Moving last week. Still renovating and unpacking. No stove. Pain levels creeping up. The biggest and busiest camps starting next week. I stood there in the middle of the mess that is my house and wanted nothing so badly as to
Between my mood and my migraine, I spent most of the day in bed. And by most of the day, I mean except driving the kids back and forth and feeding people three times and switching a couple of loads. You know. The essentials. I knew the best thing for me was rest and so I didn’t run. I stayed. I didn’t fight amazingly well, but I didn’t run either. I rested and chatted with Michael about how I was feeling. When I woke up this morning, I rushed around getting the kids off to basketball camp, we jumped in the car, and then it was like God spoke to me.
Go ahead and run.
Just run to me.
I started praying, but words were hard to form. I just had this image of Jesus standing there with his arms outstretched, waiting for me to run to Him instead of run away. I told Him I was completely overwhelmed, discouraged, but still, just this image. I finally in my mind’s eye just ran to Him. I could give you details on how He worked out so many things to help me in just one day, but I’ll just leave it at one word. Peace. Peace has flooded my heart today.
Since that moment in the car, this old song that I haven’t sung or heard in years kept playing through my head.
I run to the Rock of my salvation, run to the Stone that the builders rejected, run to the Mountain and the Mountain stands by me. When the earth all around is sinking sand, on Christ the solid rock I stand, when I need a shelter, when I need a friend, I go to the Rock.
The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Proverbs 18:10
Just run in the right direction.